Why I want to finally lose the weight...

I have pretty much been fat my whole entire life. I think I was normal-sized up until I was 5 years old. Then I started gaining and it was a slippery slope from there. Have I tried to lose weight before now? Yes, of course. What fat person hasn't tried the popular new diets, hoping that this would be the one that worked? I would lose 10 pounds, then gain back 15... lose 10 pounds, then gain 20. Over and over again. It was madness, really.

But this time is different. I'm 29. I want to have a baby and I'm obviously no spring chicken when it comes to the fertility department. So, this has to be done and it has to be done now. Yes, I know that overweight women become pregnant all the time and they have healthy babies without complications. But I don't seem to be one of the women who can get pregnant at such a high weight... or I would have had a baby by now.

I don't just want to lose weight to have a healthy pregnancy... but I want to be a cute pregnant chick. One of the ones who has the pretty round baby belly and can wear cute tops that cling slightly to that pretty round belly. I don't want to be a fat pregnant girl who still wears huge shirts because of lumpy, bumpy fat rolls. I want people to actually see that I'm pregnant... and not think that I'm just a fat girl getting fatter and fatter.

I want my husband to be able to put his hand on my pregnant belly and easily feel the baby move. I want to enjoy being pregnant... not be worried about my blood pressure or gestational diabetes. I do know that these things can occur in the tiniest of pregnant women... but we all know that the risks are higher for overweight women. That's the reality of it.