progress pics...

Here is a little snapshot of my progress. I know that the sprayed-out face is kind of creepy... but I wanted to preserve some level of anonymity.

I kept debating about whether or not I wanted to post any photos on this blog. But, I know that looking at progress pics from other people is a huge motivator for me... so maybe I can motivate at least one person with my progress so far.

I know I have a lot left to lose, but I'm happy with what I've achieved so far! :)

doctor's visit...

My blood pressure meds are almost gone so I saw my doctor today for refills. I hadn't seen her since January so she didn't know that I was losing weight. She was really excited that I've lost so much already. But, I was kind of bummed about some things that she said.

She asked me what I weighed in high school. I told her that I was probably around 275-280 when I graduated high school. She said "That sounds like a really reasonable goal. 280." I looked at her funny and said "goal? My goal is to weigh under 200 pounds." She told me that it isn't very likely for me to weigh less than 200 without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin that I'd have after a 200 lb total loss. She said that someone who loses 200 lbs will probably have about 20 lbs of excess skin all over their body. I told her that I can't tell for sure, but that I don't think my excess skin is going to be that bad. I know I'll have it and plenty of it, I'm sure. But 20 lbs worth?

She also said that most people can't stick with a plan long enough to lose 200 lbs and if they do they can't keep it off. I love my doctor, but I didn't like hearing her say those things to me... it's like she said it in a way that meant she didn't think that I could do it. She said that getting down to 280 is a reasonable and achievable goal for me... maybe 250. But she doesn't think I should expect more than that. She did say that she doesn't think I should put pregnancy off until I reach my goal of being under 200. She said that my weight loss is going to slow down and it could take a few years to get there... if I can even get there. She said that I could have a healthy pregnancy even if I'm overweight because my blood pressure is the only health concern I have and it's under control with my meds.

I was feeling really bummed about everything when I left. I talked to my trainer at the gym after my appointment and he said that my doctor doesn't know what she's talking about and that he is going to make sure I get to 199. That man is the greatest. :) He asked me when my next appointment was, and I told him that I needed to go back in 4 months. He said that I'll be at 280 when I go back and I can say "Look, I reached your goal... now watch me reach mine." :)

80 Pounds!

Ack! The scale said 320 today! Well, 319.6 to be specific. But I'm going with 320. I know that there are mixed opinions out there in the dieting world about planned cheat meals. But, my trainer recommended I go off plan (without going crazy) one day then get right back on to "shake things up a bit" since your body is so good at adapting to what you're doing after a while. It seems to have done the trick for me. I was 325 when I "cheated" and 326 on Monday. And today I'm 320! I really am thrilled. :)

My next short term goal is to be under 300 by Halloween. How exciting is it going to be to be able to say that I've lost 100 pounds! Of course, it's still a little disheartening to know that I will still be morbidly obese after losing 100 pounds... but that's the situation I'm in and I can't change my starting weight... just my current weight. And I'm working my butt off to do just that!

My sister commented to me on the phone the other day that she didn't remember my eyes being so big. I told her that it just looks that way because my eyes would get swallowed up by my fat face whenever I would smile before!

Goodbye 80 pounds!

Scale is moving again...

I am disappointed about only losing 8 pounds for the month of August. I did well with my eating and my exercise, but my body just wouldn't let go of the pounds! My trainer told me to have a "cheat meal" to shake things up a bit. So, this past weekend I ate off plan at my sister's baby shower. Nothing too crazy... I had tortilla chips with a velveeta salsa dip, spinach dip with crackers, a few Totino's pizza rolls, and 3 bites of cake. (The pizza rolls made my stomach ache, by the way... too greasy!) On Monday I was up 1 pound to 326... then today I was down to 323! So, I'm hoping that things are going to start moving in the right direction for me again. I have found that the best motivation for me is seeing the number on the scale drop. The more I lose, the more I want to stick to my plan and lose some more!

My family was really supportive and complimentary when I saw them over the weekend. I haven't seen them since June and I've lost 30 or so more pounds since I last saw them. Everyone kept commenting that my face looked so different. When I look in the mirror I see the same old me. My grandpa's wife gave me a couple of pictures that were taken the week before I started my diet at my highest weight ever... I just couldn't believe how fat I let myself get! I know that I'm not slim by any means... but at least I can say that I'm not as fat as I used to be... and I don't ever plan on going back to that!